Shame, Guilt and Self-Blame After Trauma
Blaming yourself for something that happened to you, even when you weren't at fault, is one of the more painful and least talked-about trauma responses.
What This Can Involve
This can look like persistent guilt about actions taken or not taken during a distressing event, a sense of shame about how you responded, believing you should have prevented something you had no real ability to prevent, or a wider, harder-to-articulate feeling of being fundamentally at fault or damaged. It's often accompanied by avoiding talking about the event, partly to avoid the shame that comes with it.
Possible Associations
Self-blame and shame are commonly reported after trauma, particularly where a person felt unable to act, froze, or made a decision in the moment that they judge harshly in hindsight. They can also be a feature of depression, and can overlap with low self-worth that predates any specific event. Shame is also a common and separate experience for people with ADHD, often for different reasons — see the ADHD, Shame and Self-Criticism article if that feels more relevant to you.
What Helps Clarify the Picture
It's useful to understand when this began, whether it's tied to a specific event, how it affects your view of yourself day to day, and whether low mood is also present. These are the kinds of questions explored properly at assessment.
Where EMDR Fits
Shame and self-blame connected to a specific traumatic memory are something EMDR can be used to address, as part of processing the memory as a whole rather than treating the belief in isolation. Whether this applies to your situation is established through assessment.